Few people are able to bear responsibility themselves for their negative emotions. Anger, jealousy, anxiety, fear. Such emotions are so unbearable for one’s mentality that the latter immediately starts searching for an outer object in order to displace the causes onto the outer world, search for a person to be blamed, and a person because of whom such emotions are sensed.
Merely you could imagine a person speaking to another one: “Now I fill angry with you because I have inferiority complex, and I am unable to satisfy my needs on my own. Therefore, I am trying to delegate the cause of my failures to you”.
Another example is: “I have got a masochistic element in my mentality. That is why, I always surrender to you, take care of you, in order to punish you thereafter with contempt and call you an ungrateful egoist”.
Certainly, people do not even suspect such things. They lack time to get into the details. They are in a hurry to extinguish the fires of their needs. They keep running around the circle.
2. People often yell at themselves for the committed mistakes, feeling guilty, becoming executors for themselves, living through the past events over and over again.
Beyond no doubts, the repentance and penitence, perceiving oneself not a superman, but an ordinary person is a prerequisite condition for the further growth.
However, the tricky thing is that people having no idea of laving this circle confine themselves therein forever. It is a kind of captivity in the labyrinth of insanity. One’s mind applying the same tools and methods is trying to find a way out, surely failing to find it.
The circles of hell I have come across at the interviews:
“I am so guilty of having done it that time”.
“I have no more chances to change anything. The time has gone”.
“I will have to come to terms with what I have in my fate”.
Getting stuck in the past, building up one’s life trying to follow the existing models – it is surely a way nowhere. It is even worse when an event presses the mind like a heavy stone. Until such event is realized it will keep distorting the reality requiring comprehending and releasing the event.
Then, in the past, subject to totality of the background and the human mentality, one had no chances to behave otherwise. So. It is a right time to forgive oneself.
However, one should now start searching for a way to forgive oneself, otherwise it will last forever.